By Mandy Cloninger
As we’ve traveled over seven weeks studying the last 24 hours of Jesus’ life, you can certainly find yourself in just about every one of the characters who appear. There’s Judas betraying Jesus with a kiss. There’s Peter denying Jesus three times and continuing to tell his own story later. There’s the crowd choosing between two saviors: Jesus Barrabas and Jesus Christ. There’s the two criminals who hung on the cross with Jesus, one chose Jesus’ kingdom and was promised paradise, the other did not recognize him.
I am most identifying with Doubting Thomas this week. “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.” (John 20:25).
It’s somewhat comforting knowing that the disciples struggled with doubt. I believe, but my belief is like a mustard seed. It’s like the nagging nelly in my head just won’t get it. Is it ok to believe without fully understanding or even knowing which parts you get?
I mean I confused Lennons, i.e. John Lennon and Vladimir Lenin, and the group got a big kick out of it; it was quite a funny moment that illustrates how little I understand or get. But does my belief make up for my unbelief, as one of my friends suggested? Does my little bit of understanding, comprehension, and “faith” make up for all that I question and the doubts that often cross my mind.
Is it as another person suggested from Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”
I am hopeful as we proceed into the remaining days of Lent.
As Hamilton quotes from The Anatomy of Hope by Dr. Jerome Groopman, “Hope, true hope, has proved as important as any medication I might prescribe or any procedure I might perform.”
Though I am a doubting Thomas, hope is my final word. Hope.
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